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A little thought about the tragedy in Chengdu

What happened to the student and the final results are not about what is finally announced, nor the CCTV camera system has malfunctioned even nowadays under the big data of AI-controlled society, nor whether there is a “The Top One” presiding the justice, but about in this very today of 2021, their first idea about things happened is still covering it up. In the face of public suspicion, there is not any independent and convincing third-party investigation. The truth is still determined only by the ​”stability first” policy, which began decades ago.

In today’s modernized economy, PRC is not North Korea or Cuba, so why should the media be tightly controlled? Why should people’s daily communication and public opinion be monitored and censored by big data? Where is the self-confidence of the system of our great nation that propagandized everywhere? The supporters have always desperately defended the ruler but despised his so-called compatriots. They have forgotten why few countries around the world have such censorship and control. In their eyes, the people were only worthy of being supervised, censored, and indoctrinated information.

This is not normal at all.

A group of investigative journalists who were active during the Hu and Wen period has now disappeared. The media has not dared to question it anymore. In the 80s, the National People’s Congress was able to summon and interrogate officials, but 40 years later now, it shows “there will never be judicially independent.” The next-door Korean film and television dramas tirelessly tell the stage of judicial justice. The death of Freud was broadcast on TV 24 hours a day. When will it appear in our country?

Independent and impartial investigations will not bring about a color revolution but will rally people’s hearts. The GFW blocks external information, and strict censorship of media statements also controls internal information. Without the right of supervision, the people can let the power hide dirt and accept wrongdoing, especially at a local and small place. Where there is darkness, there needs to be power to resist it.

Open-source code is more robust. This is the simplest truth.

Like a larva holding on for transformation [Reproduced]

By Chen, Yi-Wen (Taiwan)

I would like you to
firmly resist your weakness
like a chrysalis holding back a butterfly, a
maple leaf resisting the autumn
a newly splashed
droplet resisting breakup

I would like you to
balance your inner beauty
like the structure of a snowflake, the four
petals of a finger tree flower
a quatrain on a yellowed paper scroll:
“a still night, an empty spring mountain”

I would like you to
tolerate the secrets of a narcissus
forgive the twists of a moonlit river
look straight at the murky sky as rain falls down
just like listening to a naked prayer
like the ocean
embracing the absolution of a storm

Then, maybe you would be willing
to walk through a declining border town
through a prosperous metropolis
see life, see death
see all the bustle and transience
dignity and cold lifelessness

Sometimes, life is
as quietly beautiful as a poem, as desolate as a vine
as intense as a soaring eagle
as lonely as a dust-covered stele

And so time passes, places alter, faces change
it has been a long journey
we return to the room we set off from
origin and destination curl into a perfect ring

I shall recognize the look in your eyes after calibration:
clear, unswerving
like steel beads that do not rust
roundly, in a dark room
reflecting pure light

English version translated by Audrey Tang, the first transgender and the first non-binary official minister without portfolio of Taiwan Executive Yuan.

陳依文 (臺灣)








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I love reading blogs

I love reading blogs, especially their About Me pages. By browsing other people’s stories and feeling the path of their lives, I can rethink myself differently.

I am a small-town boy. Unlike those boys who seem to be lively, I am not too interested in most things. Even with some of the popular recreational activities, I also quickly get bored. When it came to studying, it’s the same. I know that learning is fundamental, especially in the Chinese college entrance examination environment. But I don’t think I work very hard, and I keep on the benchmark line for every subject to avoid failing. But all in all, in the end, I was admitted to a university that was not very good but only around the baseline.

I was muddled and unsure of the future direction at that time. Unlike the exciting college life of others, mine seems unusually plain. Going to class, eating, and sleeping it’s the same things every day.

Similarly, after graduating with not particularly outstanding but ordinary grades, I ended my university life. Then I have worked in a typical company for about a year. Even if this job was not what I like, I can adapt quickly and adjust to the normal state.

Just in a random early morning, there was no one on the street. I was on my way to work, and I closed my eyes and listened to the music in my headphones. Suddenly at that point, I seemed to realize that every day for the past year has been the same, just repeating itself over and over again. I was shocked, and I find that I only live for one day and the rest 70 years of my life are just repetitions.

At that time, I decided to change my current life, but I didn’t know what part of my life should be changed. After a couple of days of considering, I chose to continue studying, even though I wasn’t sure I was really interested in it. Anyway, I quickly quit this job and prepared to apply to graduate schools.

Time seems to have returned to the high school study time, and the same repetition happened again. Studying, eating, sleeping, day by day. But during that time, a friend accompanied me to study together, and it seemed that my life routine had changed a little bit.

After several months of preparation, I was successfully admitted to a graduate university. And I will be starting my further study career in September this year. It seems that everything is going well now, but I feel that my future life will still be as repetitive and uninspiring as before.

Let me talk about other things. My age and family may ask me to live according to the life path they set for me, but I know I will let them down one day in the future. When they see that I will not marry a woman and may not have children, I wonder if my daily life will change? You wonder why? Because I like men and I am gay. And being gay is not allowed in China.

I always strangely feel scared and peaceful at the same time.

And there are some collections I explore more blogs: